Marriage is Key to Success

For many of these women, marriage is the key to their success. They have certain requirements that must be met in marrying their husband, and many of these requirements have to do with the financial stability of their partner. Take a look….

Marriage Requirements

This video clip shows just how shallow these women are and relates well to the reason that they praise the patriarchal society. This can all be embodied by one specific quote… “If Micah didn’t have those things and he was the right guy, would you still have picked him?” asked Gretchen Rossi and without hesitation Peggy Tanous replies, “NO!”. The points these women are making are clearly financial aspects of a man’s life and have nothing to do with a man’s character traits. This puts out a very negative image for women in today’s world because they seem to be no longer marrying for love, but for stability. The real determinant in whether a woman marries a man is based on the amount of money he makes. These women are therefore successful because they reap the benefits of their husband’s success after marrying him. This can be very damaging in today’s society because according to Elasmar, Hazagawa and Brain, “for a young female teenager, the actress she admires can serve as a multipurpose model: a source of occupational aspiration, clothing style, hair design, and more” (20). This means that if the young women in today’s society are looking up to these women, it could very easily take us back to the patriarchal style of marriage with women finding success based on their husband’s money.

Another interesting thing in this video is that when Alexis describes her marriage it seems as though Jim chose her, instead of a mutual connection. This just highlights the fact that these women work hard to find themselves the perfect husband, but in the end it isn’t their decision. They need to present themselves in the best way they can to attract the male, but the end decision is always his. It kind of portrays love as a game in which the women are like items that a man shops for, and these women glorify that idea because as long as the man fits their financial requirements he works.

If you have watched previous seasons of The Real Housewives of Orange County you will also know that Gretchen Rossi was engaged to Jeff Beitzel (shown below), but Jeff died so they never married. Looking at this image of Gretchen and Jeff makes is hard to believe she married him for love… He could clearly be her father or even older than that and he obviously made a lot of money based on all the extravagant gifts he showered Gretchen with (ex. brand-new motorcycle). Gretchen’s engagement to Jeff clearly jump-started her fame because that is how she got involved in The Real Housewives. Currently on the show her employment consists of a collection of bags and makeup that she sells, and it is very hard to believe that this business would be successful without the fame she has received in being on the show. This just goes to show that marriage really is the key to their success and is what they work for.

http://www.realitytea.com/

Media Swaying Values

Stereotypes are seen everywhere throughout society. In many aspects they “serve as messengers about the appropriate social roles and behaviors of men and women” (Hammer 29). In a traditional marriage the male role is provider and the female role is caretaker. Stereotypes are provided through the media and theses images often push females to concentrate on dating while males concentrate on job hunting (31). The Real Housewives of Orange County has clearly represented this depiction for the media because the women’s main goal is to find marriage, but to a man making extravagant amounts of money.

We all like to believe that what we see on television has no affect on us or our values but the truth is, it does! Studies have proven that viewers are continuously being pressured to follow stereotypes they see. For example, Hollywood tends to portray “beautiful is good” and most viewers tend to rate attractive people better than those that are unattractive (34). The Real Housewives of Orange County have not only been influenced by this, but are continuing to influence others to think this way through their appearance on reality television. They have all had countless amounts of Botox and plastic surgery along with the numerous hours they put into working out everyday in order to keep their body in top shape. I know that I can relate to this stereotype because I work out everyday in order to stay fit and when I go out I try to look ‘beautiful’ which is often a definition that I have defined based on the media.

I’ve always thought I just did these things because I liked them, which in some aspects may be the case, but in most cases the image making me feel good about myself has been portrayed in the media and forced in to my brain. I cannot speak for everyone, but I know that people in today’s world are always trying to lose weight or buy what is in and I think there are two forces driving this engine, the media and the opposite sex. We want to be as happy as those are in the media, so we try to embody their lifestyles. In many cases this happiness can be driven simply by a woman feeling some sort of recognition from the opposite sex.

The ladies in The Real Housewives of Orange County are conforming to many media driven stereotypes, but are also creating their own. In the media Hammer found that, “women were still more often than not, found in the passive role and quite often seen wearing an apron” (32). These housewives were clearly influenced by this image because their lives were based around finding the man to support them while they ‘wear the apron’. Now that these women have their own reality show they can influence young girls to have those same ambitions in life. These ambitions fall in line with a traditional marriage and are moving the concept of an independent working mother backwards.

What is a housewife?

Married, Mother, Cooking, Cleaning and Caring for Kids. These are just a few terms that popped into mind when I thought of the word 'housewife'. Dictionary.com refers to a housewife as a married woman that manages her household, usually as her main occupation. This correlates with the traditional viewpoint of marriage in society with women as domestic homemakers and their husbands as moneymaking providers.

In today’s world, women are trying to move away from traditional marriages and receive the same marriage rights as their husbands in order to provide for their families. Giele shows this concept in her research by explaining, “the breadwinner system that had given greater privilege to males for their provider status and subordinate place to women for care of the household and children was being called in question” (395). If this is really the case than why are so many studies showing American women returning to their domestic positions?

Well, I know that my family portrayed this dynamic because right out of college my mom worked as a teacher, but after her marriage to my father and giving birth to my sister and I, she quit her job to be a full time mother. Many women do this in order to devote time to their children (6). My dad was making enough money to support us, so why should my mom work? It wasn’t until my parents had three more kids and all of us were in school that my mom even thought about going back to work. But this was not something she seemed excited to be doing. It was as if being dependent on my father for so long made her not want to be independent.

Giele's article relates well to this idea because it says that most women in a traditional marriage have more happiness in their marriage. I think the reason for this may be that from my perception most women place their happiness in other people. For example, when the husband is happy because he feels he is providing for the family (aka the wife is not working) the wife is happy. Housewives sacrifice much of their personal wants so their kids and husband are happy, but seeing them happy is what ultimately makes a mother happy as well. Being a housewife is like a job in itself, which may be why many women in today’s society are moving back towards the patriarchal marriage, but images in the media can also influence the way that people act and can be one of the overarching factors in moving away from empowering relationships that would create equality between men and women.

Real Housewives are Pseudo-Housewives

This term pseudo-housewife means a fake, not genuine housewife and if you have ever watched an episode of The Real Housewives of Orange County, you know exactly what I am referring to. Of course everyone has a different personal definition of what a housewife is, but I don’t think shopping all day while the kids are at home with the nanny (ies) fits into this category. The nannies really embody the house term, while the ladies are pretty much just wives. The closest thing relating many of them to the term housewife is that they ride on the coattail of their husband’s success and have a few kids.

For example, Alexis Bellino was introduced to the show in season 5 and explained she has three kids and TWO nannies. The show is supposed to be glamorizing housewives, but they don’t exactly take care of their own kids. Maybe these women should instead be called ‘user-wives’ because they marry rich and use his money to stay attractive with the help of plastic surgery and extravagant shopping. Housewives are supposed to be women that put others needs in front of their own, such as caring for children, but instead these women put their own needs first. In doing this, not only are they making women look bad through their dependence on males, but they are also making housewives look inconsiderate and degrading the hard work that true housewives actually go through.

Now, lets take another example. Lynne Curtin was an old housewife from seasons 4 and 5 and she represents a perfect example of not only neglecting her children, but also being a bad mother. Because her daughters are older, we do not see the nanny issue in this house, but the issue of spoiling her kids as a tradeoff for respect does come into play. I think that any mom in today’s society could vouch for the fact that bribes and no punishment for wrong doings is no way to earn a child’s respect, so check out this clip.

The Motions of Parenting

In this clip Lynne’s daughter explains that her parents are “going through the motions of parenting” and are not completely there for her. The clip ends with her swearing at her mother and Lynne’s response is to calm down because they are shopping. This provides a perfect example of Lynne bribing her daughter with shopping and allowing her daughter to do anything because there are never consequences for her actions. True housewives take much pride in the respect that they get from their children and for mothers who are homemakers, motherhood is at the very center of their identity” (Giele 408). These women seem to have much different centers of their identity, such as shopping, vacationing, plastic surgery and going out the other ladies.

Bibliography

Castro, Yolanda Rodriguez, et al. "Is Traditional Gender Ideology Associated with Sex-Typed Mate Preferences? A Test in Nine Nations." Sex Roles 54.9/10 (2006): 603-614. Academic Search Complete. EBSCO. Web. 1 June 2011.

Elasmar, Michael, Kazumi Hasegawa, and Mary Brain. "The Portrayal of Women in U.S. Prime Time Television." Journal of Broadcasting & Electronic Media 43.1 (1999): 20-34. Academic Search Complete. EBSCO. Web. 1 June 2011.

Giele, Janet Zollinger. "Homemaker or Career Woman: Life Course Factors and Racial Influences among Middle Class Americans." Journal of Comparative Family Studies 39.3 (2008): 393-411. Academic Search Complete. EBSCO. Web. 2 June 2011.

Hammer, Tonya R. “Myths, stereotypes, and controlling images in film: A feminist content analysis of Hollywood's portrayal of women's career choices.” Diss. St. Mary's University (Texas) (2008): 28-38. Dissertations & Theses: Full Text, ProQuest. Web. 1 Jun. 2011.

Padgett, Alan G. "The Bible and Gender Troubles: American Evangelicals Debate Scripture and Submission." Dialog: A Journal of Theology 47.1 (2008): 21-26. Academic Search Complete. EBSCO. Web. 2 June 2011.